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up your foot and make you look as if you are floating on air. By the same token, ladies with dainty bones and slender ankles, please do not encase yourself in those big clunky platforms - they will look like soup plates on your feet. I don't care how fashionable they are - just because it's the most recent trend doesn't mean it will look good on you.

To summarize... If you are invited to a "black tie optional" event,

GENTLEMEN, DO NOT WEAR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

- Polo shirts

- Blue button down shirts

- Turtlenecks or mock turtlenecks (unless they are exquisitely fitted, made of high-quality materials like silk or cashmere and are worn with a knockout suit - there are not many people in the world who can pull off that look at a "black tie" or "black tie optional" event.)

- T-shirts (I would have to personally shoot you)

- Jeans

- Khakis

- Novelty ties

- Novelty shirts in overly flamboyant colors and patterns

- 1970's-style prom suits

- Sneakers

- Business casual loafers

GENTLEMEN, WEAR ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

- A tux with a crisp tuxedo shirt, a bow tie and a cummerbund or a vest. Make sure your bow tie matches the cummerbund or the vest. Ensure you wear appropriate dress socks (there are knee-high socks specifically designed to be worn with a tux) and appropriate shoes. While tuxedo shoes are expensive, there are army surplus that sell navy uniform dress shoes that work awesome for a fraction of the cost. Also, there are eBay sellers that sell tuxedo shoes from tux rental places, although you may have to order a couple of pairs to make sure you get the right size.

- A dark suit (black or charcoal gray - browns and navies are a bit too "day-at-the-office) with a crisp white shirt and a good quality tie with a handsome color scheme. Or you can wear a colored shirt in, say, dark burgundy with a sharp tie that picks up the colors of both the suit and the shirt to tie them together. If you are feeling brave, get a shirt with French cuffs and wear cuff links that go well with your tie.Dress socks and good dress shoes.

- A mandarin collar shirt in black or white with the tux - careful with that, this look is not for everyone although it can be very sharp.

LADIES, DO NOT WEAR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

- White shirt and black pants or white shirt and black skirt - people will be asking you to refill their drinks and get them a clean fork.

- Denim skirts

- Chunky sweaters

- Boots (sorry, gals, even dress boots will not do for a formal event).

- T-shirts (and no, just because you are a girl doesn't

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