by candydro

Created on: January 09, 2008   Last Updated: January 12, 2011

Everyone that has been divorced can offer at least ten different things that kept them sane during and after a divorce. Unfortunately, there is not a single solution that will help everyone. The thing that has helped me the most is to find other things that I am passionate about. Like a new career and some new hobbies. Since my ex was a bit psycho during the actual separation part, I took some jui jitsu training classes and women's self defense. I became a mechanic from my selling/ customer service manager position, which also helped me take out a lot of anxiety and frustration while becoming extremely physically fit. I spent as much time as possible with friends and people that were going through the same type of thing and avoided the people who knew better than I because I just didn't want to hear it.

The last thing in the world that you want to subject yourself to is anyone telling you to go back to a horrible situation that they knew nothing about just because you were married doesn't mean that your spouse can treat you however they want to and you just have to deal no matter what anyone says. If you feel strongly enough to divorce it's bad follow your gut. The only thing you should focus on right now is making your life better and fulfilling for you and your kids if you have any.

Changing so many things in my life made it easier to cope with the fact that my life was not going to be the way I planned and I was going to have to find a new path. Now I am happier than I have ever been and it's all thanks to the best friends I could ever hope for. They supported me emotionally and gave me places to stay when I couldn't go home because my soon to be ex was at my house. Not to mention the fact that becoming a female mechanic spur of the moment, even though I've been working on cars since I was about twelve, was a bit of a shock when already I had a well paying position and I knew I would lose money in the process I just knew i had to do it and they stood by me.

Whatever your method I think the best advice is to make yourself happy first then the rest will follow. You can tweak your path along the way as much as you need to get where you need to be. Keep your friends close and let them offer advice but also let them know what you need from them. It may just be a girl's night with some wine and male bashing movies but they won't know until you tell them.

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