Let's face it there is always a memory of something your brother or sister did that you still have a hard time stomaching even today when you are all grown up. You cannot forget it and you have to succumb to those family events you want to stay away from. When you know that that person is going to be there and you know you will have to talk to and pretend you are over the trauma caused by their hand.

I have siblings that I was actually told, by a psychiatrist, that I would only need meds if I stayed in contact with them. The doctor even went as far as to call and tell my mother not to make me go to family functions that it was bad for my health.

I told myself that after I was away for 6 years that they had changed. I had hurt feelings but I was willing to toss them aside and jump back into the ring. My mother told me that everyone had grown up and held no ill will towards me. I believed her. I even told myself that I was being stupid to hold onto the past and we were all different people now.

I went to my families function. They talked to my two children. They said hello to me. They talked with my husband at lengths. Then as they always do, they went off to huddle and talk about everybody as they always have before. I ended up leaving early and returning home with questions from my children as to why my own family hated me. They had overheard my siblings talking about me.

I then realized that there was little I could do to make amends and that my siblings had no intention of making amends. I had grown up and as I thought more about my sibling I realized these were people that if I had met them I wouldn't like them. I have done things sense then to help them out but I know that that is only to make me feel better. I still get hurt when my sisters go on vacation and call it a sister vacation and don't ever invite me. I still get hurt when my mother calls to tell me what they say about me, but then I remember that they don't even know me.

I realize that siblings are supposed to be close but I also realize that sometimes they never were close and they never will be close. My children are very close to each other but then again I taught them to be. I have not passed down hate for sibling to my children and that is one thing I am glad I didn't.

I am no specialist, but as I see it sometimes sibling never realize that each other grow up, so their past deeds are never forgotten because that is all they can ever look at.

Learn more about this author, Ann Church.
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