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"I pay your salary! You HAVE to help me NOW!"
"I've got seven PhD's so don't even try and act dumb with me!"
"It was working perfectly until an hour ago!"
"I demand to speak to your supervisor!"

Anyone that has ever worked in customer service has heard these words more than once. After eleven years of customer service I can honestly say that I've heard them more times than I can count. Perhaps this is why I joined the military. I felt that it was much easier getting shot at than to deal with angry customers.

However, for those of you that are still sitting in a cubicle with a headset permanently attached to your skull and your sanity rapidly waning I have some advice to help you out:

1. Don't let them make you as angry as they are. I know after eight straight hours of the madness you're usually ready to simply burst and lash out at your customer. This won't solve the problem; it will simply escalate the anger level of your customer and only exacerbate the situation.

2. Don't interrupt the client. Let them vent. Make notes as they're spouting out their problems. Quite often they were really close to the solution, but they just missed one critical step. When they're finished stating their problem let them know that you're going to help them.

3. As they speak louder try and speak softer. An angry ear will strain to hear a whisper. This might buy you enough time to explain the problem to the customer.

4. Use phrases like "Let's work to solve this" or "I think that we can work this out together". Customers like to be in control of the call and there's no reason to make them believe otherwise. By using plural possessive pronouns you make the customer feel like they're part of the solution instead of the problem.

5. Never say things like "Well, it looks like YOU made a mistake. People don't like to feel like they're responsible for anything that goes wrong.

6. If you need a couple of seconds to research the problem, politely ask the client to hold for a few seconds (never more than thirty) and take the time to read any prior notes that might be written on the problem. This should give you time to help come up with a solution. If the problem takes more than thirty seconds to research, be sure to check back on the client and reassure them that you're still working on their problem.

7. If you're working with the client to fix the problem on their end let them know how great they're doing when they take the steps you're telling them. This will make them feel like they're the ones

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