Why hide it? Spend it all on a bottle of good whiskey and a couple of chicks. If you do need to hide it for...a rainy day let's say, here are the "Best Damned Hiding Places Ever!"

1.If you have a well maintained bookcase, and you have a Bible you don't use, one of the best places to stash cash is in your Bible...place your loot where you find Job 1:20 ("...the Lord gave...").

2. If you have a few large bills (so few that they can lie somewhat flat), put the bills in an envelope and tape the envelope to the underside of the drawer above your underwear draw.

3. You can also tape a somewhat flat envelope containing large bills under an electronic component (DVD, surround sound amplifier, cable box, etc.). Most of these components have small rubber feet, elevating the device less than an inch off of the surface it sits on. A taped envelope will rest comfortably, unnoticed and undisturbed for as long as you don't re-decorate.

4. Need a Christmas bonus? Place cash in an old Christmas card, and put all of your cards away..anywhere. Next year, when you look through the cards you received this year, in an effort to determine who to send cards to next year, you'll find you booty, and have extra money for next year!

5. I'm married 22 years and still have an airtight cash-filled baggie inside my toilet tank.

6. My sister, Natasha, has $3,000 inside an empty VHS box which once contained the movie "The Bear." Nobody wants to look at this movie, and nobody wants to borrow this movie.

7. In a bottom cabinet in your kitchen, there hides a large pot or pan that is a pain to clean. You don't like to use it because you hate to clean it. But your mother or brother gave it to you and you can't throw it out. Nobody will look there for money, will they?

And of course, my favorite:

8. Wrap the bills in aluminum foil and label "liver leftovers." Put the package in your freezer.

Learn more about this author, Patrick J. Knight.
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