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The Brain is the Least Important Muscle for any Good Workout -
By: Shane Boddinger - Personal Trainer -

Hi there, bro. Sorry to interrupt, but I was just wondering what you'd rate your workout so far with us here today on a scale of one to ten, with one being, like, really bad, and ten being, like, completely awesome.

See? I thought you'd say something like that, and to answer your question with an answer that isn't another question, my name is Shane, and I am at the moment wondering which of my gym's valuable clients I'm conversing with.

Bro, I'll tell you what difference it makes to me. As an employee of Bodies in Motion, I'm committed to maximizing the satisfaction and results of all of our customers, and though I don't mean to distract you from treating this stationary bicycle like more of a piece of furniture than the sophisticated piece of excercise machinery it is while you read that great big book of your's and contemplate the meaning of it all, I couldn't help but at least offer my assistance to enhance not only your workout experience, but quite possibly your life in general.

For starters, why don't you take a look around and tell me how many of your fellow gym members you see with their noses buried in "Crime and Punishment". That's right, none. Not that there isn't a time and a place for Hemingway, but that was back in England in the 1700s or whatever when everyone was fat and depressed, not here in present day Huntington Beach.

Seriously bro, you're using these machines all wrong. A man of your intellect is never going to be happy with the results he sees from the padded head support of that piece of equipment until he does a few reps with his skull inserted between the weights. Here, allow me. I'll push up sixty pounds and you stick your head in there.

Smash! Smash! Smash!

Sweet, dude. Still pondering the pointlessness of trying to stave off the inevitable decay of your body? Awesome. How about I show you our new elliptical treadmills equipped with their own personal television sets. There's 96 cable channels there, dude. Pretty tight, huh? What? Oh, totally. That chick's butt is way tight. Nice eye, dude.

Hey, come see me on your way out. I can totally hook you up with a sweet deal on some protein supplements.

Learn more about this author, Aleister Pinkbelly.
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