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A MOTHER'S GRIEF

What a beautiful day!
Happiness inside the van
Traveling the road
Headed North to our property

How little time we spent
Thinking what if
Guess that's a good thing
Not dwelling on the negative

Yet, sometimes those two words
Make us appreciate what we have
Allowing us to stop and smell the roses
Taking time for the extra hug
Saying the words, I love you

Nothing is more precious

Then my children
To be without one
Beyond my comprehension
The loss of both, emptied me

Oh, God, the horrible accident
That ripped my boys from me
Why couldn't it have been me instead
They never had a chance to grow up
They needed more time

So many smiles and laughs
They filled my days
The house was energized
When they were there
Some days just to quiet now

The moment in time
Just that brief second
Changing our lives forever
When will my grief stop

I see their faces
In my minds eye
What if that starts to fade
It's a fear I carry
Weighs heavy on my heart

I know they're in good hands
God's hands , loving and good
In a beautiful home, heaven
Waiting to see , their earthly family
Seems so far off, I wish to be with them

I know I was a good Mom
They felt loved, had those hugs
But, I wish with all my heart
I could hold them one more time
Just one more time say I love you

The caskets shouldn't be their bed
The lid and earth, their cover
I know they aren't there
Just thoughts, can't help but think

The pain is so intense
Can't begin to describe
My heart is broken
My tears seem unending
Yet, I smile thinking of them

The emotions so mixed
Always turning, in uncertain directions
Not knowing how I'll be
from one minute to the next
Trying to stay in control

Those family members remaining
I love dearly, treasure every day
Don't want to minimize their importance
They fulfill me and make life
Well worth living

But you see, there's one corner
Deep in my heart
That will belong only to my boys
A spot I go to, inside myself
To be with them again

Time will go on
I know I'll think about
What might have been for them
What interests they would have had
First dates, graduation, mile stones

Their wedding day, never to be
The children they'll never have
All these things, I'll never know
I can only imagine, trying to comfort self

My boys, given to me to nourish
To love, laugh with, cry with!
To enjoy for a season
I grieve with smiles and tears

Tears for those things we'll never share
Smile for all those times and things we did!

Learn more about this author, Gloria Straight.
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