by christopher beard

Created on: January 07, 2008

"If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in the dreams of suicide.
If cool my heart, and high my head...
I think, 'How lucky are the dead?'"
-Dorothy Parker

The notion of wanting to die has always plagued humanity from the time we were sentient enough to reflect on ourselves and look within, rather than always looking out. The basic instinct to survive lasts only as long as there is a tangible struggle to do so. Only after this need has been overcome, can a being stop to contemplate themselves. Unfortunately for most of humanity we have surpassed the need to survive for quite some time. When faced with an inner turmoil, that no primordial survival skill can defeat, death can seem a worthy consolation.

Most people when contemplating what they have to live for can fall short of a tangible answer. The fear of living can be constant, and the weariness of what lies beyond the next horizon can be an unavoidable source of despair. People under duress either look for a way out, or they break under the pressure and shut down emotionally; usually a healthy fear of the latter results in reverting back to looking for that escape.

In feeling suicidal, an individual most often isolates them self, and in doing so perpetuates the feeling of not being able to belong, and not being loved. The usee of drugs, both illegal and prescription, can often upset the chemical balance in the brain and push someone even further towards drastic choices. Unfortunately people usually turn to drugs to help cope with these feelings.

The question of whether life is worth living or not, is far from being answered. Humanity hasn't yet even come to a consensus of what life is. We have no clues as to why we are here, or what we are supposed to be doing. The only guiding hand in this perplexing question is the conformity of modern society constantly trying to give us a niche into which we may fit.
The human spirit is an inquisitive thing, but so very fragile. Once broken, a person can default to terrible alternatives out of either disbelief that life can go on, or the fear of the road which lies ahead through all the turmoil.

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