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This is the story of a book, a philosophy, and how the two are inextricably intertwined in my mind. The book is Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. The philosophy is Buddhism. Both were initially first recommended to me by the first shrink I ever saw twice.

She recommended both book and philosophy highly. I didn't listen. For starters, optimists give me the willies. I consider myself to be a realist. There's an old saying that the pessimist sees only the overwhelming darkness of the tunnel; the optimist sees only the light at the end of the tunnel; but the realist is the one who recognizes that light as the headlamp of the oncoming train.

Buddhism was even less personally appealing. For some reason, its proponents seemed to consider the cessation of desire to be a good thing! Now, anyone who knows me at all will understand just how unappetizing that particular idea was to my sensibilities. I love my desires. I live for my desires. Hell, I am my desires. Desire didn't cause suffering, desire caused pleasure. The basic premise didn't make sense.

I was resistant to pretty much everything she told me and never bothered to follow either lead, even though other sources were to second her advice and recommendations in the years to come.

Finally, a copy of Learned Optimism found its way into my hands when I was right at the end of a junket of self-help book reading and right before I discovered The Secret. The timing was exactly right; I was ready to listen. Immediately I kicked myself for not reading it years before as I quickly realized what I held in my hands. It was a formula! This book contained a systematic process for making practical, immediate life changes.

Difficulties in life are discussed in terms of personal explanatory styles, or "habitual way(s) of explaining bad events", which stem directly from your view of your place in the world whether you think you are valuable and deserving or worthless and hopeless it is the hallmark of whether you are an optimist or a pessimist." (Seligman 44) People with pessimistic explanatory styles tend to "give up easily and become depressed." (Seligman 98) People with optimistic explanatory styles tend to bounce back and pick up again where they started. The difference is not in how we appear to others, but rather is a way "to talk to yourself when you suffer a personal defeat." (Seligman 207)

Explanatory styles involve choices centering around three areas of perception: permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization.

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