Of Filters and Jackalopes

'Twas the day 'fore Thanksgiving
We sat in a titter,
Waiting for Tony
To return with his filter.

You see he had never
Bought one before,
So he asked his dear uncle
What to ask for.

To fulfill my duty,
With love and with caring,
I told him make sure
It has stainless steel bearings.

The platinum's expensive.
The brass wears too quick.
Chrome is okay.
I laid it on thick.

I made sure he knew it,
The said, "Go on Tone."
Then I tipped off the parts store
With a call on the phone!

We waited for minutes,
But it seemed more like hours,
For the tale of embarrassment
With which we'd be showered.

Then Tony walked in
and said, "Tom, hey, no luck.
All they had were the platinums
for a hundred two bucks!

Then the guy started smiling.
I felt like a clown.
There's a store down the street.
Will you write it all down?"

What kind of uncle would I be
If I denied his request?
"Now leave with this note
While the selection is best."

We waited all night,
And most the next day,
To hear what the parts man
At Al's had to say.

It was all I could do
To not bounce off the walls
When he told me the parts man
Had one with stainless steel balls.

He discovered the joke
Later that day,
And disgustedly wondered
Why him and not Jay.

There were tears on my face
When with him I sat,
Saying Jay wasn't dumb enough
To fall for that.

Now he won't trust me
About parts for his car,
But I told him the truth
Before the joke went too far.

Several months later
With Grandma Yvonne
He went for a visit
To her sister's and mom's.

They live where it's rural.
You can call it the sticks,
And everyone down there
Up here are called hicks.

Fred told him of hunting
Elk, bear, and deer.
Then told him of his prize,
"It's on the wall over here."

He wasn't that tired,
And he doesn't use dope,
So the thing on the wall
Was a real jackalope!

Sure enough on the wall
With a trophy at back
Is the head of a rabbit
With antelope racks!

And just above it
Is an antelope's head,
But mama rabbit escaped
Before Fred shot it dead.

"But different species can't breed,
Or can they," he asked?
Well, you've heard of a mule
Come from a horse and an ass.

Now Tony's excited -
He thinks it's real cool -
To learn down in Blodgett
What you can't learn in school!

So if you're out in the woods,
and a hare races by,
Watch out for the antelope
With love on his mind!

Learn more about this author, Tom Koecke.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

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