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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Slots

As much as it embarrasses me to admit it, there are, undoubtedly a few Muggles (non-magical people) among you and while they might have heard of Harry Potter, they probably know very little about him.

Until very recently, I would have suggested that they read the four books that a Ms. J. K. Rowling has written about Harry. I was positive that Ms. Rowling was a witch herself - because she certainly had many of the details about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and the wizard lifestyle correct.

Then I decided that I could write a better Harry Potter story than Ms. Rowling could - a fact which the publishing world seemed to dispute.

Undeterred, I decided to call it "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Slots" and placed it in a hitherto-unknown casino in Hogsmeade (which as every Harry Potter fan knows is the only all-wizard village in all of England).

*

"Expello!" shouted the young man with the scar on his forehead as he aimed his wand at the slot machine. It immediately shot forth hundreds of gold coins. Harry Potter smiled as he collected his money.

"You can't do something like that," said Hermoine, his young witch friend. "You are a good wizard. In fact, you are so good that every kid in the school considers you a rat fink."

"I know," said Harry. "I am not keeping this money. I'm only testing out the security of the slots for the casino. If not, the evil Lord Voldemort might come in here and cheat the casino."

Hermoine shivered as she heard Harry mention the Dark Wizard's name. Most magical people refused to even say it - they referred to Voldemort only as "You-Know-Who". His evil knew no boundaries. He cast horrible spells on people. He murdered at random. He even abused online casino bonuses!

"You don't think that You-Know-Who would come to the Chamber of Slots?" she asked Harry. "After all, this is a public place and the Wizard Police might spot him."

"They haven't spotted us, have they?" Harry replied. "And we're two 14-year-old kids in a casino!"

"Make that THREE 14-year-olds," said a voice from behind them. They turned around and spotted their best friend, Ron Weasley. He was accompanied by a blonde woman in her 20's who was wearing a low cut dress and too much make up.

"This is Bubbles," he said, as he introduced her.

"Pleased to meet'cha," Bubbles mumbled.

"Bubbles works in the casino," Ron explained. "She's a hooker."

"A hooker!" exclaimed Hermoine. "You can't have a hooker in this story. Our books are read by children!"

"What's wrong

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