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Dating and high school seem to go together like bread and butter. In fact, many people start dating long before their freshman year. It seems our society trains our young girls to look longingly at boys and believe that all their problems will be banished if they can just find the right Prince Charming to rescue them from their hum-drum existence. Girls who are not dating by high school seem to be somehow lacking, sitting alone, and tolerating the snickers of others.

But it doesn't have to be that way, insists Joanie Hutchinson. This high school junior is currently the valedictorian of her class, has the lead in the school musical, is active in many clubs and organizations at her school and in her church. She is socially active and maintains a crazy schedule while working part-time. Her friends view her house as a second home, many of them staying over several nights per month. "It isn't easy," she acknowledges. "Sometimes I'm up until midnight or later, keeping up with studies or doing my Bible study." What she doesn't do is date.

"My freshman year I decided not to date in high school. I'm going t try to stick to that.
I noticed that, sometimes when you're in high school, you make relationships a bigger priority than they should be. I didn't want to do that, because I really wanted to focus o my grades and my future plans. I didn't want a boy to get in the way."

She smiles, recounting drama that seems to control lives of her friends when it comes to the opposite sex. "If I want drama," she says, "I'll put a good movie on TV, or head for the theater. What I won't do is give it a foothold in my life." Too many girls who think they always have to have a boy in their live turn into women who think they have to have a man in their lives. They jump from one relationship to another, she observes, never really happy, because they've never learned to make themselves happy.

Joanie seems much older that her sixteen years. When asked if she ever thought about what she wanted in a future boyfriend she nodded. She began listing off characteristics, citing responsibility, humor, a love for God and community awareness among others. Nowhere in the list was 'tall, dark and handsome'. "There are not very many guys that are what I want in our high school." She smiles and comments that the boys have some growing up to do before she is willing to consider dating them.

"With all the high school hormones running around, I don't want my faith to be compromised in a relationship that would probably last no longer than a couple of months. If I do find a guy, I'll make sure that he is someone that can help build up my faith. And I will pray about it and make sure he's alright by God so he can be alright by me."

By making the choice not to have a boyfriend for the present, Joanie is confident that she is benefitting her future. She looks forward to the day when she will date, find the right man and marry. But for now, she's happy as a single.

(Joanie Hutchinson is a pseudonym sued to protect this minor's privacy.)

Learn more about this author, Debby Dyess.
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