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who can fit into this."

Never buy, "a house dress." Don't listen to the sales clerk who tries to convince you that every woman wants to run around the house in, "a moo-moo."

Don't buy your girlfriend, "a poncho." Unless you are taking her to Mexico, she won't want a poncho. It doesn't matter how warm it is or how colorful.

7. Bad art: This gift would include anything painted on felt. It also includes anything you have to paint yourself. I promise you that she doesn't want a ceramic pot, a painting of John Wayne or any other dead movie star.

8. The IOU gift: Never say, "I'll take you out to eat on your birthday." Your girlfriend will expect you to do that after she opens your gift. Never depend on the dinner as being considered your gift. The IOU gift is a way to say, "I didn't take the time to buy you anything, but you can't complain if I take you out to eat." Forget that idea! It never works, never has and never will.

9. Money: Please listen to me. Don't give your girlfriend cash. She'll feel like a prostitute if you do, and you don't want that. You may be saying, "But. . ." There are no, "buts," about it. Don't.

10. A gift with no card: Never, ever, ever forget to get her a card. Chances are, it'll be the card that saves your back side. Even if you get the wrong gift, a romantic card can make up for it. She'll save it for the rest of her life to remind her why she's in love with you, the next time you mess up.

Women aren't really that picky. You don't have to rob a bank to please your girlfriend. Simply think before you buy and don't waste time by buying something you'd like to receive. Remember that women are soft and cuddly, not macho and mean. Women never dream of tools and machines, so if you want her to feel romantically, buy her romantic things.

Learn more about this author, Vicki Phipps.
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