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I did my dating long before the internet turned the practice into an international meat market. I met my wife in the basement laundry room of our large apartment building. Even 42 years later, she still claims it was love at first sight when I saw her bend over to get her sheets out of the dryer, But I say it was much more. Not too much more, but the easy way we talked and laughed was my key to wanting to see her more, as well as more of her. We went our different ways for about a week after picking up our bundles, but I tracked her down and we had our first date.

Those first hours together are extremely important in establishing a relationship. I can only guess today that internet conversations may help to melt and "break the ice" in advance. However, computer images can't possibly replace that first face-to-face meeting. It can only start there. Anyhow, I don't trust the internet. It is rife with lies, fake photos, false information and possible physical dangers. You have only to watch an episode of the TV show, "Predators" to see what can crawl out of the woodwork of an internet connection.

In my case, for our first date, I took her to a movie and then for some ice cream. Honest! As a 30ish grad student, I didn't have much money, but although she was a medical professional earning good bucks, I insisted on paying for that first cheap date, and all that ensued. Afterward, and since we lived in the same apartment building, she on 18th and me on 16th floor, I invited her to visit my digs to see my graphics. Was this the old come up and see my etchings ploy? Close, but not quite.

One of my student responsibilities in grad school was as a lab assistant, as well as photography and design graphics instructor. I really did have my apartment walls decorated, not with etchings, but with my own work, mostly 16x20 black and white images. Since I was on a scholarship and photo lab boss, and had free access to all the print materials, it cost me nothing to produce and hang example of my work proudly on my walls. Forget rock and movie star posters. My stuff was serious photos of street riots (it was the 60s), homeless people, nudes, stray cats, bloody hospital emergency wards, teen thugs in jail and other kinds of fun stuff that should have impressed the heck out of a first date.

My wife confesses that she was a bit shocked by her first view of my apartment, but was also even more shocked that I behaved like, in her words, "a perfect gentleman."Oh, sure. The reality was that I was a very tired gentleman, working 40 hours a week along with a 30-credit class load. Whatever my intentions then, we were married ten months later.

If you can accept advice from an old, old married guy, you don't have to make any great efforts to "break the ice" on a first date. Just be your own natural self ... maybe a bit more cleaned up and on best behavior ... and let your new acquaintance decide whether the real you is worth seeing again. And, good luck!

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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