by L. Merlino

Created on: January 01, 2008

Nearly forty years old, my biological clock was ticking wildly. I'd already done a career, traveled a bit. Having a baby was a major part of my to-do list, yet try as I might, all my previous pregnancies had been miscarried before mid term. I lived, breathed and thought "baby" constantly, adjusted my diet, ate bland foods, prayed, meditated and constantly prepared myself for a successful pregnancy. I never lost hope or determination, though conception rarely happened.

It was at about this time that it dawned on me - maybe I was trying too hard. So, I got my mind on something else for a change and added it to my "to do list" - enrolled in some courses at the Community College, set my priorities on maintaining straight A's, and commuted 40 miles each way to get to classes.

I also got a fluffy pet cat to indulge my overflowing maternal instincts. Now knee deep in college textbooks, 30 page report deadlines, tutoring Humanities on the side and caring for a new kitty, I had little time to fret about fertility issues. Then it happened ... frequent bouts of morning nausea and fatigue. Cravings for sausages and chocolate, and eating like a horse!

When I was pretty certain this was for real, I eagerly made my way to the on-campus nurse's office and requested a pregnancy test. Hormone levels were high; all systems go - this pregnancy was for real!

My belly was swelling rapidly and I fought down nausea while taking final exams - all with a glowing smile on my face! After graduating with honors, and having amassed several scholarship offers, it was a real possibility that I could transfer to Harvard (another thing on my to-do list). Good. Now, the pregnancy wouldn't be my TOTAL focus - just in case it didn't come to term, I had a back-up plan.

It was a stifling hot summer in my third trimester, carrying high and well. I enlisted a top-notch midwife and planned for home birth (with a back-up delivery plan of course). The baby was due August 15th. With the summer heat, and bulging at the seams, I was so ready!

By the afternoon of August 15, I'd grown quite anxious - wondering when the baby would EVER make its appearance.

My husband and I took long walks down Cape Cod roads. There was a horse corralled at a nearby field, where we'd usually stop with treats of carrots and bits of hay. When reaching out to pet him as usual, this time he nipped me hard on the arm, leaving a black and blue mark! If that wouldn't set me into labor, what would?

Back at home, the labor pains STILL didn't start. The following morning, right after my husband drove off to work, I was standing in the kitchen when my water broke. He had to turn right around!

I was in labor for 12 hard hours, yet it seemed that time stood still ... even the midwife and my husband agreed on that! When our beautiful baby girl made her appearance, she arrived with a full head of hair, arranged in an adorable "pixie" hair style, with eyes wide open to greet the world! It seemed I'd always known her, this petite fairy princess, yet so like a wise, old soul.

I never did go to Harvard - that can wait! Instead, I settled down to the blissful priority of being a full-time mommy. Sixteen months later my son was born at home on Christmas Eve, also under the expert administration of our beloved midwife.

Seventeen YEARS later (how time does fly), I've not once regretted having put my "academic" back-up plan on hold, with two beautiful children to show for it.

Maybe getting bitten by a horse is lucky!

It seems like just yesterday that my first bundle of joy made her grande entrance, now a lovely young lady with long, flowing hair and a sweet "pixie" face!

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