by Lyn Dee

Created on: August 30, 2006   Last Updated: September 02, 2008

Did you hear about the boss who fired his employees by sending them text messages? And what about the bride-to-be who sent her fianc a text informing him she'd cancelled their wedding?

I think most people would agree that both of the above are examples of inappropriate uses for text messaging. But in today's world, where technology often seems to be changing long-standing social conventions at an alarming rate, the distinction between appropriate and inappropriate messaging is not always so clear. If you are uncertain about text messaging etiquette, here is a simple way to ensure you don't embarrass yourself or others by getting it wrong.

I want to take you on a journey into the past. Once upon a time, before the invention of the telephone, if you wanted to communicate with someone beyond speaking distance you either had to visit him or her in person, or send a written message. These messages fell into two broad categories - Letters and Notes.

Letters were usually written in your best handwriting and followed strict rules. They were used for all business dealings, to contact strangers, to inform distant relatives and friends of your family news, to apply for jobs, issue invitations to formal events, declare your undying love, beg for forgiveness or request a great favor,

Notes, by contrast, were informal, quickly written and brief. They included reminders left for family members, impromptu invitations to your closest friends, instructions to staff and trades people, classroom jokes, and urgent requests for help of some kind.

'All very interesting,' I hear you say, 'but what has this history lesson to do with modern text messaging?' Well, the technology is different but the principle remains the same. Text messages are today's notes. So before sending one just ask yourself if what you want to say really is best conveyed in something as informal as a scribbled note. If you are not one hundred percent confident that it is, consider all the other forms of communication available to you. A friendly phone call might be more appropriate, or perhaps a formal email with correct spelling and grammar. Other circumstances might require the contents of that email to be printed out and sent as a letter.

Finally, think about the impression you would like your message to make and then imagine yourself in the shoes of the recipient. What would inspire him or her to give you the response you desire?

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