by Sarah J Palmer

Created on: December 31, 2007

Victims of elder abuse are as a helpless as victims of child abuse. They know their abusers, they trust them, they rely on them and yet they fear and loathe the very people they depend upon.

The victim may well be a former professional person, qualified, articulate, strong and fit. But now they are old, frail, infirm, confused perhaps, weak and wobbly. Their finances, domestic and personal affairs are too much for them, they may need help to dress, to walk or eat and even to use the bathroom. They are reliant on one or more carers for everything both complex and simple in their final years.

If the abuse takes place without witnesses it is virtually impossible for third parties, who may have their unproven suspicions, to get the authorities to take action. It doesn't matter if you are the sibling or child of the victim you will not be listened to unless the victim themselves collaborates with you.

If they are in denial about the abuse it is the most simply awful situation of your word against the abusers. If the abuser is the official next of kin then you will be deemed to be a malevolent mischief-maker and dismissed outright so the abuse can continue unhindered.

Often victims tolerate the abuse rather than face an unknown future. If you take away their abusive carers and what will they do? They could end up in a home which for many is far more frightening, humiliating and degrading than the abuse they endure in their own home. So they endure their secret in silence, even defend their abuser in the face of confrontation or accusation. Eventually they die and take their shame, despair, disappointment and evidence with them to the grave.

Horrific and abhorrent as it is, child abuse victims have their whole lives ahead of them to survive and overcome their abuse. Every day they are growing older and potentially stronger and more able to break free or get help. They have a future. A future in which to get help, get a supported, confident voice and be heard and get even or justice. For this reason alone I think elder abuse is worse than child abuse.

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