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there was a definite change in society. It got even poorer. The crumbling stone of the city was replaced with rusting corrugated sheets and the dangling signs were now handwritten. Again, I could admire the rustic beauty of it all, but then I didn't have to live in a shack that was smaller than many 4x4's. It occurred to me that we had been travelling for an hour and a half and I hadn't seen a single building I would be prepared to live in or work in. Strange that, I thought, isn't Kenya a tourist hot spot? Where's all the money gone?

Finally we bounced up the coastal road towards our resort. The dishevelled tarmac was more hole than pot. Some of the fissures were so capacious that the coach had to weave cautiously between them at walking pace. Checking in at the hotel reception was like being given the keys to a different world. The complex was resplendent and festooned with myriad plants, including aloe vera, ferns, the ubiquitous palms and my favourite, the baobab. Baobabs are like giant bonsai trees, misshapen and intricate, with their trunks out of proportion to their branches. The trunks are so large that they are sometimes used as part of a building's structure, which was the case at our hotel, with one having had a spa bolted onto the side.

After being led through this lush little corner of Kenya and deposited at our quaint, thatched little maisonette we proceeded to freshen up. With the air con cranked up I laid naked, spread-eagled and rejoicing in the luxuriance of the cold cloak of air that sucked every last drop of sweat and moisture from my clammy body. It was at this moment of intoxicating serenity that my dear wife took it upon herself to collapse to the floor of the bathroom with a sickening wail as she proceeded to indulge in an epileptic fit. I scuttled into the bathroom with my mind flashing up all the gruesome possibilities a fall in a bathroom can lead to. Perhaps a compacted skull, a twisted kneecap or a toilet brush through the temple, who knows. A quick assessment established she had bounced off the side of the sink with her cheek, but she looked surprisingly well considering. Once the fit had passed I carried her over to the bed and we both eventually drifted off into a lavish sleep. My dear wife's neural indiscretions aren't really the driving force behind this tale whoever, so I shall press on.

We were awakened by the receptionist calling to check if everything was OK as we had missed our arrival briefing. Upon hearing the extravagant

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