by Dee Cain

Created on: December 29, 2007

The decision of abortion verses adoption as the best option should be a thought out process. I have known mothers who have opted for each side and the results have run a similar coarse. They have both agonized over their decision with life changing results.

First the mother who chose abortion, she felt getting an abortion was her only option. She couldn't visualize carrying a child full term and then giving it up to total strangers. After having the abortion she went through depression and guilt.

Many times she would call crying about ending a child's life and how she should have given it up so at least the child could have had a chance for a future. This guilt caused destructive behavior and I watched my friend turn from a loving caring person to a person who lost her zest for life. Even with therapy she goes through periods of self-loathing. The decision she made during that stressful time had life long consequences.

On the other hand a person extremely close to me gave up a daughter for adoption. Her circumstances aren't much better. We had this little girl for 22 days (due to her having a medical condition at birth) before she went to her adopted parents.

Her new parents were wonderful people who could give her all my friend couldn't. My friend was thinking unselfishly of the child. But the consequences of letting that child go remain today.

The mother suffers from depression. Longs to see her child. She holds out hope that someday the daughter she gave up would knock on her door and wants to meet her birth mother. Even though she knows in her heart she did the right thing for her child, she feels guilt over not keeping her.

Both of these situations occurred at a time when I was told I'd never have children. In a perfect world I would have taken both of these children in a heartbeat but there is no perfect world. I could hardly care for me; so taking on children was out of the question. I could only offer support for my friend's decisions.

After watching these two dear people wrestle and cope with their lives in the long term, I believe adoption is the best option. I also believe the choice has to be up to the individual in the situation. Hindsight being 20/20, if these two friends would have seen the repercussions their decisions had on the outcome of their lives, I often wonder if they would make different choices.

Learn more about this author, Dee Cain.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.