by E.L. Miller

Created on: December 29, 2007

Without collaborative planning between parent and adolescent, teen parties tend to range from uncomfortable silences to alcohol-drinking experiments, neither of which make for a good or appropriate night. While it is important that a parent be involved and completely aware of the goings-on of a teenager's party, the key to making it a success for the teen and parent alike is to suggest and be flexible, not to impose and not to be a wet blanket.

Some of the best teen parties I have ever witnessed had a central element to the soiree that party games just naturally developed around. Something too structured and tightly scheduled feels forced. Instead, let your teen take the reins and be there to offer suggestions (and veto power over any unacceptable ideas). To help get those creative juices flowing, take a look at some teen party themes below.

1.) Throw a pool party and have an assortment of inflatable beach balls and pool toys available, as well as plenty of out-of-water activities for those uncomfortable with the idea of appearing in a swimsuit. Good ideas include some type of sport, such as volleyball or badminton, plus plenty of areas with comfortable seating in little groupings. Let your teen choose the playlist for the stereo or outdoor speakers, or they can tune into the most popular radio station.

2.) Provide a venue that is a party game in itself. Sometimes it's easier to get teens to do something fun that they might otherwise consider too juvenile if it's presented like a retro experience. For instance, rent out a skating rink for an '80s party and encourage leggings and off-the-shoulder shirts for the girls and hi-tops and acid washed jeans for the boys. Skating rinks always have music tracks for such an event, and the over-the-top cheesiness makes it so dorky it's acceptable again. The same goes for laser tag, paintball and bowling alleys. Be sure to make it very obvious that this is a chance to go back in time and act like goofy kids used to (or so you'll have them think).

3.) Holidays are good occasions for teen parties, too, because they have a ready-made theme, especially Halloween. Lots of outrageous activities are considered typical when you're in costume. Just don't get carried away. Chances are a Valentine's party would be too much pressure for this age group (or would be too much of an event for making out). Finding something festive to honor President's Day might be a stretch, too. But Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends have always been popular for parties, for teens and adults. Just add access to some equipment for group activities, board games, video games, a dartboard, a pool table or other table games, such as table tennis, foosball or air hockey.

Just remember, the best teen party games are the ones that occur spontaneously, as a result of the party-goers having a good time together. You can help set some things in motion, but inevitably, anything you think is cool isn't. And remember to follow the parents' guide to teen parties:

1.) Have plenty of drinks and snacks on hand and, for nighttime parties, lots of good lighting.

2.) Be present, but rarely visible.

3.) Provide subtle supervision, advice and the means (isn't that almost all a parent of a teen can do without too much resistance?), and let the teens figure out what's in this week.

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