by Lauren Beyenhof

Created on: December 28, 2007   Last Updated: December 29, 2007

If you've made the decision to check into an inpatient rehab program for your addiction, BRAVO! You are on your way to overcoming your addiction and getting your life back together. As you prepare to check into the program, one lingering questions you may have are:

-What do I tell my children? Should I even tell them?

This is a defining moment in your life, your spouse's life, and the lives of your children. It's up to you to set the proper tone for the conversation. The best thing you can offer your children is clarity, honesty and maturity. Remember that this is a teachable moment, and one you do not want to waste if you hope to spare your children the grief and misery of making the same mistakes you have when it comes to addiction. It's embarrassing and shameful to admit you've been wallowing in addiction, but you must own up to your failure as an authority figure in your home while remaining future-minded.

Do not offer your children half-truths. Although there may be a disease component to your alcoholism or drug addiction, ultimately the reason you're addicted is because of poor choices. That's the message your children need to hear. Saying something like "Mommy is sick and needs to go away for a little while," is a poor choice of words. By saying that, you are failing to accept responsibility for your decisions. Moreover, it will worry your children because they will fear the worst for your health. A better response would be:

"I did a bad thing and started using drugs. I have decided I want to stop using them, but I can't do that by myself, and I need help. I'm going to a place where they will help me stop using drugs, and show me how to keep from using them again."

-What about younger children?

These days children as young as 4 are being told about drugs and alcohol in their daycares and schools. Just because they've heard about such things doesn't mean they understand. Be sure to communicate in language they can follow, and help them see how what you're telling them will impact them. Consider the following dialog:

"Remember when you got in trouble for being mean to your sister? Remember that even when you said you were sorry, you had to sit in the corner? Daddy did a bad thing and got in a lot of trouble. He's sorry he did it, but now he had to go away for awhile. When he comes back he'll be a better daddy for you."

It's important for younger children to know that they are still loved. Be sure to let them know that nothing that is happening is because of anything

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