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Extra-curricular activities are generally a great thing for teens, but both you and your teen need to be careful in not letting them cross over into being overwhelming. So how do you determine whether the activity is a challenge that's building a teen's character or something that is harming them? The following are some aspects to look at:

1) What is your teen's attitude toward the activity? When you develop an inner drive to succeed at anything, there's going to be times you feel like quitting. However, when someone else suggests the idea, you're quick to defend whatever you're doing. You know that the challenge is helping you grow. There's also excitement and joy when you overcome obstacles. In these cases, you should allow your teen to continue.

Then there are other activities that after awhile just don't feel right. They may have challenges as well, but the feeling is more like unrelenting pressure as opposed a healthy challenge. When a teen gets into the area of too many activities, it's harder for them to focus. They may feel overwhelmed and depressed by the fact they're overwhelmed. Even most adults don't like to admit when they've taken on too much, so as a parent you may need to step in and help them work through what your teen really wants.

2) What kind of a support system does your teen have? Take a look at the leader of the activity and the other students in the group. Does your teen have encouraging people around them, or is it competitive even on an individual level. Sometimes an activity may not be worth doing, not because of your teen's attitude but because of the attitude of other people in the group. If there's ever a situation where other teens are trying to sabotage each other's success, you need to get your teen out of that environment.

On the other hand, a great group of people will pull your teen into becoming better. They help each other set goals and hold each other to them. They will also look out for each other.

3) Make sure your teen is doing the activities for the right reasons. They may never tell you this directly, but growing up I noticed several friends who were doing activities to please their parents instead of themselves. They were exhausted on a daily basis, but they knew that the activity would get them attention and their parent's involvement in their lives. In some cases, as a parent you may need to make sure that's not going on, especially if your teen is doing an activity they really don't seem to like.

I hope this advice has been helpful. As I said earlier, extra-curricular activities are generally positive experiences that benefit teens. These guidelines are to make you aware of possible challenges, not to discourage you or your teen away from them. I wish you and your teen the best!

Learn more about this author, Patricia Gilliam.
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