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Attending multiple family celebrations can make Christmas not so merry. Have you been there before? Trying to fit in all of the groups plans in your family. Here is our situation - we have my husband's family, my parents and grandparents and then our immediate family. It's not my husband and I people want to see, it's our kids. I feel blessed that our children are loved, but the tug of war between grandparents and great-grandparents leaves us feeling that we have fallen in the pit of mud in the middle. Every year come December you could go to Las Vegas on the odds of the annual holiday fight. It starts with negogiations and sometimes direct orders of arrival date by grandparents. My husband and I take the calendar out and try to start looking at possible dates. Guaranteed at least two people get their feelings hurt, for they feel jipped on quality time with our children. In my opinion, a date should not determine togetherness. Instead it should be the time spent with loved ones. Once the fighting is over and the visits are completed, my husband and I have to spend quality time repairing the damage to our relationship. We feel loyalty to family, guilty for hurting anyone's feelings and usually exhaustion. Thus, every year my husband proclaims, "I hate the holidays". Thus, Christmas is not so merry once again.

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