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Alone I wake,
Terrified I shake.
Every noise makes me jump,
My heart thumps and thumps.
On my own in the dark,
But I can still see the mark.
A reminder, a curse,
A key to minds first.
A plague on my life,
Relieved by this knife.
But no, I wouldn't dare...
Yet still at it I stare.
It speaks not real words,
Yet still, I heard.
Irrational thinking,
So I keep drinking.
Not really a good idea,
Now nothing is the way that it appears.
Losing control,
No longer whole.
Must find a way out,
Must break free from doubt.
The comfort I seek in this sinking boat,
Cannot be found through whats sliding down my throat.
Anxiety takes over,
Becoming too sober.
I reach for relief,
That bottle-shaped grief.
A piercing of pain,
Again and again.
I look in my hand,
I don't understand.
Is this what they wanted?
Is this why I'm haunted?
How do I escape,
From all this hate?
My demons deceive me,
My conscience won't leave me.

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