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I understand the psychology behind this belief, and yes, it appears on the surface that it's true: nice girls love bad boys. I've wondered about it myself, and I suppose that one of the main reasons behind it is this: bad boys give good girls permission to be bad themselves, and perhaps the good girls live out their own fantasies through the actions of the bad boys. It's almost like being bad by proxy. I've learned a few things about relationships over the years, however, and I'm convinced that the saying is limited in its scope and vision. Nice guys -do- get the girl. The hero in the white hat -does- ride off into the sunset with the nice girl curled around him, hugging him 'round the neck. How does this work? Two things have to fall into place first.

1. The "nice guy" has to generate the same kind of excitement that the "bad boy" produces. He has to sweep her off her feet. He has to be courtly, attentive, and kind, and yet not be afraid to gather her in his arms and kiss her as she needs to be kissed, until her knees grow weak and her head is spinning. He can't be afraid of her, as so many nice guys seem to be. I've dated a few nice guys who were so tentative about making a move on me that I finally just gave up on them. Most girls don't want to be the one who pursues, at least not in the beginning. (We're usually fine with it later, but remember, "nice girls" are raised to let the men make the first move.) So while the nice guy is sitting beside us on the couch, his pulse racing, wondering if he should just go for it and ending up not doing a thing, the bad boy would have already made his move. He's not afraid of being told "no." He understands that there are a certain number of "no's" he has to go through before he gets what he wants, and he is determined. Nice guys, on the other hand, are afraid of being told "no," so they never risk it. What they don't seem to realize, though, is if we let you get close enough to us to take us out, we expect you to make a move. We also expect you to back off if we signal that it's too much too soon, but trust me... we think you don't like us if you don't try. And if we say "yes" to a another date, we want you to try again.

2. The "nice girl" has to also be a "good woman." Good women understand what's important in a guy. We want someone who will respect us, who will care about our feelings, who will slay our dragons and protect us, who will fight to keep us, and remind us quite often that he's

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