by Jeff Brooks

Created on: December 24, 2007

I was born and raised in a military environment by a very Edwardian father and Victorian mother. Manners and etiquette were the order of the day, particularly regarding the relationships between children and adults. I spent most of my summers with my father's parents. They had come to Texas, as children, from Virginia. Though they came from families of some means. Those means soon dried up in the on-again off-again farming environment of Texas. By my day, meager was a very polite way to describe their economic situation. Through it all, however, they still had their education and manners.

My grandfather ALWAYS stood when my grandmother entered the room or sat at the table. He only yelled when trying to get someone's attention from across the pasture. When guests were at the house, we were always introduced, even if we were then dismissed from the room or not part of the conversation.

I knew, as a child, that I had a place in the order of things. There was no question as to what that place was. I didn't always like my place, but the boundaries were clear and the consequences for crossing them swift and stern.

Today, I see a gross violation of general manners and behavior in the young people of this country. Simple things like acknowledging the presence of an adult (or even another child) entering the room or looking others in the eye is lacking. Proper introductions are seldom made. Conversation is a lost art. The joy of share a meal is a rarity.

There is no specific place to lay blame. The deterioration has occurred over a couple of generations. The young couples raising children in the world today were not exposed to many of these things themselves and if they were they did not understand them.

It seems a bit archaic to many but there is much to learned from past generations. I recently reread George Washington's Civility. It is a bit dated in the details but the concepts are timeless. The first six follow as an example of it's contents:

1 Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

2 When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body not usually discovered.

3 Show nothing to your friend that may affright him.

4 In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming voice, or drum with your fingers or feet.

5 If you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately, and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.

6 Sleep not when others speak; sit not when others stand; speak not when you should hold your peace; walk not on when others stop.

A change in culture has to start somewhere. The best first place in within the walls of our own homes. TV, iPODs, cell phones and video-games provide a whole new set of potential interferences in the daily manner and attitude of our homes. They all have there place, but they must be accompanied by rules of civil behavior. Human interaction needs to be moved to a higher priority. The bottom line is respect, not only for others but for ones self.

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