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Advice for dad's on childbirth; well first, and most important, be there. Of course, your partner may decide the sight of a green father-to-be who is decidedly wobbly on his legs, is not what she wants, in which case, respect her wishes and don't be there. At least don't be in the room, but you darn well better be just outside, ready in case you're called on.

My next piece of advice, you're not sharing the experience, you're supporting your partner through an experience that will be scary, painful, mysterious and exciting. Just keep going, as they say, and it will end, eventually.

As the due date approaches, it is probably not a good idea to go out and get drunk, even if it is New Year's Eve. (That is the voice of experience.) On the same note keep the car in running condition, with fuel, or be on good terms with the neighbours. Again, the voice of experience; the service station forecourt is not the best place to be leaking water and having an altercation.

On arrival at the hospital, keep calm and book in. It is unlikely your wife will be up to searching her handbag for the insurance card. On the same note, remember the delivery bag. Now is also a good time to let the professionals take over. It is probably not the best time to ask what is happening and how long it will take, especially if this number four. If you don't know by now you never will.

Help your wife settle in the room before you go looking for the vending machine. Ask if she needs anything and ignore her comments about a new partner. Do, however, help with demands for drugs, drinks and a big stick to hit you with.

As time progresses resist the urge to nip out for a paper, unless given permission, and if you do, make it quick. When things really get moving remember to pass the gas and air nozzle over promptly, it is good stuff but it is not to help you through the experience; it is to help her. Resist the urge to comment on how much it seems to hurt and how does it compare to last time. Provide a limb for gripping purposes and resist the urge to say ouch when her nails draw blood. This is natural. It is probably not a good time to comment on any new swear words she has learned either. It is possible that at this stage she will curse you soundly.

Personally I did not appreciate progress reports from the other end either, either during a natural birth or a c-section. I'm sure it's very interesting but not from where I'm lying at that precise moment.

Finally it will all be over. Now is a good time to be understanding and cuddle the baby. Try to let mum see the baby before you take a photo with your phone for your mother. Get all the details, weight, time, prospective names and, quite important this, the sex of baby, before you get the list and start the calls to everybody on the planet.

Escort mum and baby to the ward, or wherever, so that you know where she is when you come back.

Now you can finally sit down, cuddle mum and baby, and be a father.

Learn more about this author, Eve Redstone.
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