Sometimes poor communication skills and slacking on the part of the parents can cause sibling rivalry. Many times parents say that this is just a phase, and kids are just like that, and let them work it out themselves. They do not realize how stressful one child actions toward another can be.

Many times one child in the family can be extremely jealous of a brother or sister or just be insecure. This jealousy or insecurity can have a negative effect on their relationship. Sometimes this negative energy can turn evil.

I have seen occasions where instead of becoming closer to the sibling they are jealous of and discussing their insecurities with them and the parents, the jealous child has brought so much negative attention to themselves they become an outcast to the family.

Often this leads to trouble in school, the community, and other areas simply because they are feeling more and more insecure and are seeking desperate means for their parents attention.

Sometimes parents choose a favorite among their children. If they expresses this openly in front of the other children there's always going to be sibling rivalry.

Sibling rivalry is always going to exist even into adulthood. Holidays are one of the best times to take note of this. Usually the domineering child comes up with the best, most expensive, and elaborately presented gifts to the parents. They know they have a continual edge on their brother or sister. It is up to the parents to treat all the adult children the same, regardless of whether or not the children still continue playing the sibling rivalry game.

The rivaling siblings should realize as adults they need to present themselves as adult individuals who no longer have to torment each other to gain individuality. They no longer have to strive to seek their parents approval. They should both realize that as adults they should and can be treated equally.

The healthy approach to adult sibling rivalry is when they can sit together with the parents and can be treated as equals while they can still joke around about things that happened when they were younger and striving against each other to meet their parents approval.

While sibling rivalry does not ever completely go away, it does most times diminish greatly in adulthood.

Learn more about this author, Kathy H.
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