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For Jeff

You asked me to come talk to you two years ago
at a time when you needed the advice, encouragement, and understanding
that only a comrade, a brother in arms could provide
at a time you were struggling for each breath in the battle for your life
a battle you sadly lost two months later

Though we spent only a few hours spread over a few days together
you shared so much, your journey, your joys, your sorrows, with me

and I shared with you a story of survival and hope
and perhaps a glimpse of trials that may have lain on the horizon for you
if you made it through the night, the next day, the next week, and beyond

Toward the end of our first visit, you told me about people back home
friends, your mother, your wife and five children sending love and prayers your way
as you lay in that bed in 3 East
Sitting up, reclining, you clutched the graying stubble of your shaven head
and sobbed as tears streaked your face at the thought of leaving those you held dear

While only two days had passed since our last visit
your condition had taken a turn for the worst
you seemed to slip in and out of consciousness as we spoke
and a sweet delirium birthed by morphine and an infection
marred your speech as words and thoughts jaggedly passed between us

Thanksgiving Night was when we crossed paths again
Your wife cradled a nearly-empty cup of coffee in her hands
as she stood by your bed in the intensive care unit
She said they had removed your gall bladder because infection had consumed it
and you needed a machine to breathe for you
as you were too weak to breathe for yourself

Though the thermostat was set at 80, you lay there trembling violently in your bed
the infection had a firm grip on you as it thrashed you about and wouldn't let go
You couldn't speak, either to me or to your wife
All you could do was groan and cough
as you tried to expel the fluid that had begun filling your lungs

On Christmas Night, I called the hospital from my hotel room
to see how you were doing
"He was discharged December 5th," the receptionist told me
"So you pulled through," I thought gleefully to myself
as I finished readying myself for the morning's red-eye flight

A few months later, I asked the doctor how you were doing
as a nurse drew blood from my right hand
A darkness settled over his face when he told me the news
"He was discharged because he died; he didn't make it"
Through no fault of your own, you were gone

Although some time has passed since you left
you and your family are still in my thoughts
and I pray that when you took the first steps of your journey to the other world
that spirits who love you met you and embraced you and helped you along the path
and that the end of your trail found you happy and forever free from suffering

Learn more about this author, Louis Whitehead.
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