by Zach Bigalke

Created on: December 21, 2007

I just married on the first of May. Our vows were shared after five-plus years mostly spent living together; we were only separated when we had work or school opportunities in different states. Melanie and I have grown as people and as a couple, largely because we were forced to think like a unit and learn how to succeed as a unit. It is one thing to know how you act around someone when everything is perfect and there is a situational exit. It is completely another to learn a person's eccentricities while sharing a living space.

Think of it this way: marriage without living experience is like buying an article of clothing off the Internet instead of going to the store. There is an endless array of opportunities which can be purchased. You can view the product from a variety of angles. You can find out what other people have to say about their purchases. Yet, all the research and testimonials and comparisons still give no indication that those pants or that shirt will fit on YOUR body. When you go to the store, there are dressing rooms and a variety of sizes which allow one to find something that is going to work immediately.

Living with my wife before marrying her was the best thing we could have possibly done. By the time we took the plunge toward matrimony, there was a comfort and a familiarity which would have never developed. We probably wouldn't be together right now if we hadn't had to depend on one another so much BEFORE marriage. The true test of a relationship is not how two people interact when everything is perfect; the greatest litmus test is the manner in which two people tackle mutual adversity. Melanie and I were battle tested many times before our wedding day, and we are able to take a longer view of our future now than we could have if we had started living together only after exchanging vows...

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