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A shower without having to jump out covered in suds to rescue a once-napping, now-screaming child. Sitting through an entire television show. Reading more than one paragraph in the novel that has taken you three months to get to chapter two. Every mother dreams of such simple pleasures as these, but finding the time to enjoy a shower, a show, or a book can be harder than it sounds.

For a mother, finding time for yourself is important to keeping a sense of self, but many moms put themselves last on their list of priorities. Whether a lack of childcare, or a sense of guilt, or a variety of other reasons, moms consistently put their children first, their families and houses and jobs second, third, and fourth, and they bottom out the list of their own priorities.

When I became a new mom, my husband provided invaluable support in helping me retain some free time and some sense of self. Besides watching our daughter while I showered, ate a whole meal sitting down, or took a nap, he reminded me that just as I enjoyed time bonding with our little girl he also wanted and needed time alone with her. Daddies have different ways of dealing with and playing with babies. Our daughter is better off from having time to play with dad, be fed by dad, get put to sleep by dad, and be soothed by dad. She has had the opportunity to get accustomed to different styles of parenting, as my "bouncing" her to sleep is very different from my husband's "dancing" her down. My breastfeeding is very different from his bottle-feeding, and a mother's way of playing is very different than dad's louder, more boisterous fun.

Besides having a very supportive partner, new mothers can also rely on other family. Quite often, grandparents love to spend time with the little ones in their lives. My mother spent a week after my daughter was born staying with us and helping out. She rocked her to sleep so I could take a bath, played with her so I could nap, and freed up my hands so I could exercise. Having my mom around to hold my daughter so I could unwind, de-stress, catch up on sleep, make sure I was clean, or complete any one of the myriad of various tasks that were getting left by the wayside was a wonderful help to me.

If a mom doesn't have family to rely on, she can always turn to friends. Co-workers, neighbors, and other friends enjoy visiting the kids! Setting up a playdate or trading babysitting services can allow a mom to get out of the house, or enjoy some peace and quiet on her own. A great idea is to get a few families together and have a rotating evening a week to watch the kids. If one parent can watch all the kids on Thursday night, the other parents in the group can have dates with their significant others, get things taken care of that they need to, or even visit a spa for a much-needed massage. Swapping daycare makes for a nice community of families that know each other well and kids who are used to being together to play, also.

No matter what a mom chooses to do, she should schedule some alone time. Nobody should feel guilty for taking time for themselves, and mothers are not excluded from this! A woman can be a better mom if she is relaxed, clean, and has taken some time to enjoy herself. Relying on family, friends, neighbors, and other people is the best way to free up time.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Vose.
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