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Taking "mommy time" without feeling guilty

nursery and demanded her return.

Of course, I know now that there was nothing wrong with taking her to the nursery to get a few hours of well-deserved rest. Just like I also know now that there is nothing wrong with taking her to a babysitter to get a few hours of well-deserved...whatever!

It's hard to get over the mommyguilt. I remember feeling guilty for putting her in her crib, crying, because I had to go to the bathroom. I'd feel guilty when my husband would let me sleep in on a weekend, and then be angry (instead of grateful) with him for making me feel that way. When I would work up the courage to ask someone to babysit, I'd worry the entire time we were out if Audrey was crying and making the babysitter regret her decision.

How did I get over mommyguilt? Easily. I decided there were certain facts about life. Here they are:
1. Your friends and family want to help. They really, really do. Everyone loves to feel helpful (like you do, I'm sure!), so enlist them.

2. Your children will be better people if you take time for yourself. Think about it-do you want your children to grow up believing that anything they do for themselves is a selfish act? Of course not.

3. Your friends who don't have children think you are amazing and they wonder how you manage to do everything you do. This should be reason enough to chill out. You're already impressing people.

4. Kids will know when mommy is feeling out-of-sorts. Children are very sensitive to emotions, especially mom's, so keep that in mind. If you look at it that way, it's selfish to NOT do things for yourself.

And finally...
5. You are already a wonderful mother because you're reading this. You care. You want to do right by your entire family (including yourself). And, hey, we all watch the news-many mothers don't care at all. More importantly, you are listening to your intuition. Something is telling you that you need to take time off, so here you are, taking the first step.

Now, I could run through a long list of activities you could do to get some no-kids time, but the activities really don't matter. You know what you like to do, whether it's going to the gym, spa, drinks with friends, naked vacuuming-who cares? The point is to not feel guilty about pampering yourself and your mind. Your family is a package of which you are a big part. Go ahead and try to keep everyone else happy, but don't forget about yourself. You're raising another human being. That's an enormous job.

Obey yourself! You are your only authority.

Learn more about this author, Jennie Kelley.
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