I think the perfect apology is a myth. Most of life's bumps and bruises I get through just fine with or without an apology. We all understand we are humans and we goof up sometimes, so most of the time I shrug things off. But the big things that get repeated over and over again by the same human? There is a point where "oops" just doesn't cut it.

I believe very strongly in self responsibility, perhaps to a fault. I live each day, I make decisions, I speak the words I mean to say. Sometimes the words come out wrong and I have to explain myself...but should I really apologize for being simple human me? I mean I am sorry when I hurt people's feelings, but I also have no power over how they react when they assume I mean something other than what I am saying. On the other side of this are those people who choose each day to hurt their lives and make decisions that effect yours...is an apology ever going to be enough in these cases? If an apology isn't enough, than what is its purpose? An apology does not magically make the offense go away.

Many people in my life have lied to me, abused me, used me, told me horrible things about myself, and generally just not come through when needed. "I'm sorry," after the third of fourth incident just does not hold much weight. I begin to think that if you can take the time to apologize, you could have taken the time to have chosen not to do it in the first place.

There are people who apologize and mean it from the bottom of their soul, because you know that they do not often make mistakes large enough to have to apologize for. There are also people who apologize so often that their apologies hold about as much weight as saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. Knee jerk reaction at best.

I'm sorry I tripped over your foot. Apology accepted. I'm sorry I flew off in a rage and called you names you didn't deserve to be called? Not so much.I'm sorry I sent your birthday card a couple days late. No problems. I'm sorry I forgot I came to drive you somewhere and I'm completely drunk? Nope.

Some things in life are simple mistakes, some are choices, some are patterns. A true mistake only happens once.

So, perhaps the perfect apology is the one that never has to be said.

Learn more about this author, Beth Burns.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about The perfect apology: Myth or reality ?
We want to hear your view. Write now!