by Rosa Lee

Created on: December 17, 2007   Last Updated: February 23, 2008

Typically, we think of a Nice Guy as someone comfortable and even fun to hang out with, but not attractive in "that way." We can't quite put our finger on why this is true and often blame it on poor role modeling by parents, bad influences from Hollywood, sadomasochistic tendencies, or even "that time of the month." We stay stupid things like, "It's not you. It's me. There's something wrong with me." Well, I'm here to tell you: You're wrong. It's not you. It is very, very much him.

There's a very good reason that nice guys finish last (if at all). By taking a closer look at the woeful and misconstrued creature known commonly as the "Nice Guy", we will notice certain behavioral trends. One of the first issues is how a Nice Guy can love a woman without ever really knowing her. Mr. Nice Guy will see you from across a room and immediately become smitten with who he thinks you are. Unlike "love at first sight" which still requires the time to learn about each other and grow into a relationship, Mr. Nice Guy is passionately "in love" the way you walk, talk, smell, laugh, and think after only a couple hours of conversation. He is positive that your values and goals are a perfect match, even though you haven't really discussed them, and is already imagining what your kids will look like.

After a couple of dates, Mr. Nice Guy pushes to meet your family and inquires about your dream wedding, because he knows that you're "the one" (just like the woman before you was "the one" until things went sour ... and the woman after you will be "the one" when the reality of your personality clashes too loudly with the image of you that he fell in love with from across the room).

A sadly paradoxical issue is how "easy-going" Mr. Nice Guy can be. While it's wonderful to spend time with someone who is laid-back about life, it is extremely frustrating to be with someone who doesn't seem to have an opinion about ... well, anything! When it comes to making decisions, Mr. Nice Guy is usually wishy-washy, especially if what he wants conflicts with what you want. Let's face it; passive behavior is not attractive and that is one of the biggest reasons we lose interest in Nice Guys. It is important to have a backbone. Conflict leads to growth and can make a relationship stronger if dealt with in a healthy manner. It is important to have personal opinions and views. Differing views keep things interesting, but Mr. Nice Guy will avoid conflict at any cost, even if he believes he is right.

A Nice

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