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Dependant on the circumstances surrounding the separation or break up, I think it is possible for some relationships to end amicably, and ultimately develop into a close friendship.
The basis of any relationship should consist of friendship, trust and intimacy, the key factors that enable two people to develop closeness and an emotional bond with one another.

When you break up with someone, especially from a woman's point of view, you ultimately feel as if you are losing the one person who has been the very focus of your life for whatever period of time. Obviously, the longer the period of time you have been with someone, the more you have got to know them, what makes them tick, shared experiences, secrets and intimate moments with them. A break-up can be the hardest thing to deal with, when you feel as if you are going to lose everything you ever built up with that person, but it doesn't have to be the be all and end all, and for many, it doesn't end that way.

Typically, a friendship develops after a break-up when the split has ended by mutual agreement. Two people having the maturity to sit down and discuss where the relationship is heading, or if commitment is not on the cards. In this sort of situation, the conclusion is to remain friends so they don't lose the bond they have built completely.

But two people can become best friends after a break-up despite other circumstances. Personally, I was with a guy for two years, I fell head over heels for him. He was the one person I found I could confide in about anything, work, life, money, family, old relationships. We shared secrets, cried, laughed and generally had the time of our lives together (I thought), until I found out he had been cheating a year into the relationship. It tore my world apart. The one person I had loved, focussed my life around and done anything for, had ruined everything we had. It took a lot of time and passed anger before we started speaking again, when we did it was like reacquainting with my oldest and closest friend. Nothing was said, we just kind of slipped into this friendship. It's inexplicable how, but subconsciously I think we both realised it was better to salvage something from the amazing times we had had, than to lose everything to a stupid mistake.

So yes, I do believe it is possible to remain the best of friends with an ex, although it may not work for everyone. I suppose it depends on the type of relationship you had when you were together, how intimate or deeply you talked and ultimately if your relationship was also built upon friendship!

Learn more about this author, Lisa Callow.
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