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My first student teaching assignment was a roller coaster of emotion. I had good days, bad days. I had days I vowed I'd never go back to "that stupid school with those rude little jerks" and then days where my feet didn't even touch ground.

Mostly, I looked toward my mentor teachers-those in the education program, my mentor whose rude little punks were my rude little punks for several weeks, and the teachers from my academic journey K-bachelor's degree. What I looked for was that one trait, the Holy-Grail-sure-fire thing that would guarantee success. And I panicked when I really thought of them all because they were all so different.

Some of those teachers were close to being textbook examples of 'a good teacher'-knowledgeable, organized, good communication skills, nice pacing, with nicely developed, content and age-appropriate activities, and good classroom management skills. But of those, there were a couple of strict teachers, a couple who were too lenient, and others were just the right mix.

But then it got a little confusing because two of my favorites-the two I learned the most from were quirk-ridden. Mr. A was laid back and had an 'anything goes' attitude. He didn't grade us or test us on anything other than participation. More than any other teacher, I learned the most from him in my K-12 years. Than there was Mrs. S. Disorganized, grouchy, and extremely short-tempered, she hardly matched up to the textbook ideal. Her communication skills were pretty good, but she lectured a lot more than the 9th grade attention span could handle. She inspired me to become a teacher in fact.

I didn't find that ellusive trait I was grasping for during that assignment, so I just kept trying-succeeding one day, failing the next until I had to tearfully say goodbye to my group of students.

My second assignment led me further down the path in my search for that ellusive 'goog teacher trait' to serve me and hold me up through my teaching career. My mentor teacher was awesome-she had all the skills people and the textbooks list in their definitions. I was awestruck.

I was awestruck until my eyes left her presense and skilled demeanor. Her students were disinterested, bored, going through the motions of what they were assigned. They weren't engaged at all in what was taking place. Anyone observing would have given her high marks, but when I noticed the students apathy I wondered why. She had a good rapport with them. It was obvious they liked and respected her.

The road to enlightenment

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