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Humor: Weekly news (12/14/07)

by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: December 14, 2007

The News to Amuse!

1. Over 80 professional baseball players have been implicated
for taking steroids. MLB has taken a cue from them all and
will have to "inject" some serious thought on how to save the
integrity of the game.

2. Ironically, after this weekend, Will Smith will be alone
at the top of the movie box office receipts with I Am Legend.

3. Hillary Clinton is reported to have a firm lean in the


polls, but that is a liberal consensus.

4. Hollywood's top shows for the year have been American Idol
and Dancing with the Stars. The success of such programs does
not weigh in the striking writers favor.

5. If the Miami Dolphins go winless this year, will the current
roster of players look forward to popping a bottle of champagne every
season until that streak is broken? Better make that Milk of Magnesia.

6. How come every time they have a concert to combat global warming:
~ They use enough electricity for mikes and amps to power a small town.
~ Fans driving to the concert use gas and oil.
~ Tickets, notices and refreshments are served using paper taken from
trees needed to filter the CO2 used to combat global warming in the first place.

7. Merchants predict a less than spectacular holiday sales season.
When you are trying to pay these gas prices, save a mortgage and hold 3 jobs
to pay the bills...buying a George Foreman grill for Aunt Tilly seems
an useless expense.

8. How does China take over the world? One lead toy at a time. Why target
military installations when you can target children..at a Target?

9. If Iran asks the US for lead to use in its nuclear reactors,
we can send them items from the discard bins at Toys R Us.

10. There is a mad rush for passports recently with trips planned to Mexico
being the popular destination. That number may be inflated by the number of
US workers wanting to visit the plants where they used to be employed.

Play safe!

Learn more about this author, Mj Ferruzza.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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