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The Yankee swap shindig you've been invited to is fast approaching. Your budget is tight, yet you're eager to add the ingredient of hilarity to the swapping frenzy by giving a gift that will certainly have the mob belly-up, gasping for air.

With playful creativity you can economically concoct a gift that will astonish the onlookers, as well as the patsy who will ultimately become the butt of your joke.

As a tributary to your drive I have compiled a host of ideas for you. All of which range from cautiously comical to down right risque. All the items listed can be easily had for under $15.00.

Warning: Carefully consider the level of what is "acceptable amusement" among those attending the party. Your contribution this year, just may be recycled back to you next year.

CAUTIOUSLY COMICAL - But sure to cause brouhaha!

* Put two AA batteries in a zip-lock baggie with a note that reads: "Gift not included".

* Gather a couple handfuls of straw, throw it into a zip-lock bag with a note that reads: "Straw-hat, assembly required".

* The same can be done with saw dust except the note should read: "Expert jigsaw puzzle".

* Wrap up a Mr. Goodbar and a Whatchamacallit candy-bar together with a note that reads: "DNA test results".

* Wrap a box with absolutely nothing inside except a note that reads: "What's in it for you?"

* Wrap up an electric shock pen and a blank piece of paper with a note that reads: "Draw your own conclusion".

* Put one single grain of salt in yet another plastic baggie with a note that reads: "If insulted, eat this".

Feel free to wrap up any unwanted item you have stashed away in a junk drawer, then think up a clever statement to accompany your gift.

SLIGHTLY MORE DEPRAVED - Yet still under budget.

* Did you know you can buy spoof U.S quarters? You can indeed! For under $7.00 your recipient can come apart at the seems after opening the coin of your choice. Just visit http://www.prankplace.com/stat equarters.htm and make your comical selection.

* At the same website, you can also choose from a variety of T-shirts fronting side-splitting logos such as; "333 - I'm only half evil".

* Something homemade you can do is build a pair of house slippers out of Maxi-pads. The recipe calls for four Maxi-pads. As you can imagine, you bend and attach one Maxi-pad to the flat Maxi-pad, assembling a slipper. Then decorate to your liking - Don't forget to including the size, such as, "Heavy flow".

* Wrap up a roll of Lifesavers with a note reading: "For your oral pleasure".

* How about

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