by Moe Zilla

Created on: December 13, 2007   Last Updated: September 20, 2009

This is really just an attempt to shame "receivers" by implying that they're somehow greedy. What's their real crime? Not buying enough garbage to "give" to others! Because most of this emphasis on "giving" comes from the stores selling that garbage...

They're advertising and decorating to increase the pressure to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE! Is it really an act of warmth and charity - or are people just knuckling to peer pressure? In your heart you already know your relationship with the ones you care about. A gift, at its best, is an expression of that, a moment affirming an already-existing feeling. But what's good is the feeling behind it - not the mechanical ritual of offering up a chunk of property and then claiming it somehow indicates a magical, special warmth that only a new toaster can convey.

And honestly, most gifts aren't given to people that you care about anyway! People "give" to long lists of vague acquaintances because they think that they're supposed to, and its ultimate reward is a sanctimonious, "givier than thou" feeling. Congratulations, you've just joined the world's most self-righteous mob. Their secret fear is that they're not giving "the way they're supposed to" - because deep down, they didn't really feel like giving in the first place, and they're faking it.

In fact, foisting an unexpected gift on someone is awkward! Instead of making them feel appreciated, it just makes them uncomfortable. Under the guise of "giving," you've demanded their attention and their gratitude. Now they have to "give" you something back, fighting through crowds of Christmas shoppers to reciprocate a supposedly spontaneous gesture. You've unintentionally just given them something else - one more headache in an already stressful season! Nice going, jerk.

It's more gracious to be content to just "receive" - to share a warm smile, a genuine flash of excitement, a heartfelt thank you. But instead of being a gracious and humble receiver - sharing a moment of meaningful emotion - people scramble desperately to be The Givers. And what they're giving is obligation, anxiety, and a little dollop of their own sanctimony.

Don't try to be the hero who "GIVES" to everybody. Don't guilt other people into having to give back. Be the face that lights up and shows them that their warmth was received, reminding them of how happy you are that they're in your life.

Yes, it's better to receive.

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