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Years ago, when my oldest was a baby and I was a first-time mommy, the idea of taking time out for myself was unthinkable. I really thought I was supposed to only think of her needs and never my own. My second child was born twenty-one months later. Then, I felt I had to put two other people's needs before my own. Throw my husband into the mix and forget about it. I didn't even think I could use the bathroom without somehow infringing on everyone else's needs.

I think it was when I was exhausted and hadn't been by myself in quite a few years that I finally asked my husband for some peace and some alone time. He'd take them out for a walk or to the park to play and I'd get a couple hours to myself. I remember feeling such guilt! Even though I read all the articles saying it was okay to do nice things for myself, that I deserved it. I still had guilt issues.

Fast forward to now, we have three children, two teenagers and a six year old boy. All of them require a lot of time and energy. Being the mother of three kids is tiring on a good day and exhausting on a bad day. There are moments when each of them is yelling, "Mom!" at the same time and I feel like my head will explode.

It took me quite some time to be able to let go of the guilt and enjoy my time. I've learned not only do I deserve it but I truly need it. And so does my family. It's good for all of us. I no longer have any qualms about asking for a few hours to be off duty.

When I do get a mini-mommy vacation, I like to really give myself my favorite activities. One of those things is simply reading. I can't read when everyone is careening around the room. When I get my alone time, I like to pick an old favorite, get a cup of tea and curl up on the couch with a blanket.

Another thing I love to do is turn up the music and dance and sing like a crazy person. This is actually my very favorite thing to do. It's such a release to turn on some Prince or The Go-Go's, dance and sing up a storm, without the eye rolls from my teens.

I also love to treat myself to a shopping trip to Bath and Body Works. I buy myself some great bubble bath and go home and further treat myself to a good long soak in the tub. I play some quiet music, light a few scented candles and really relax. It recharges me.

Even going grocery shopping alone is a treat. Without all the "Mom, can we gets," I can concentrate on what we need for the week, sip my Starbucks and wallow in my aloneness. It's not my favorite alone time but sometimes, you take what you can get.

Being alone is important for everyone but especially so for a Mom. We tend to get so wrapped up in doing for small people that we forget our own needs. A tense, tired, cranky, resentful Mom is not a balanced Mom. I make sure I get those moments so I can be the best mother I can be.

Learn more about this author, Kat Apf.
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