In the early 1990's psychologists, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, developed a theory of emotional intelligence which defined it as, "the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth."

In a paper, "Get Smart: I.Q. and Emotional Intelligence," by Nana Dawson-Andoh and written for a course at Bryn Mawr College, Ms. Dawson-Andoh notes that Mayer and Salovey defined the four criterion for emotional intelligence as:

1. Identifying Emotions - The ability to recognize how you and those around you are feeling

2. Using Emotions - The ability to an generate emotion, and then reason with this emotion

3. Understanding Emotions - The ability to understand complex emotions, and how emotions transition from one stage to another

4. Managing Emotions - The ability which allows one to manage their emotions.

These skill areas have been arranged with the most basic, lower, type of of thinking first and the skill that requires the highest thinking last.

There are, however, a number of definitions for "emotional intelligence"; and although the above theory of emotional intelligence does not include some of the social skills or personality traits that other definitions do, definitions that include certain social skills or personality traits also exist.

In general, when parents are interested in developing their child's emotional intelligence what they are interested in is developing their child's ability to understand emotions (No. 3), manage emotions (No. 4) and develop some of those personality traits/social skills often associated with emotional intelligence.

What role DNA plays or doesn't play in any ceiling on potential for emotional intelligence may not be completely understood. Whether there is a ceiling at all is something that may not be completely understood. Humans have, however, existed and developed in spite of any incomplete understanding of the intricacies of the brain, so it would appear that mothers don't always need the benefits of conclusive science to nurture emotional intelligence in their children.

So how does a parent develop a child's emotional intelligence? As with any type of intellectual skills, developing EI skills requires development of the right brain connections. In my unscientific research as a mother of three grown children, and with only

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