13 of 18

No

Write now Article Tools

There's nothing wrong with enjoying receiving more than giving. Receiving isn't just about accepting something tangible. It's a humbling experience. Someone else has the power, through their actions, their generosity, or just their thoughts, to make us happy.

It is nearly impossible to give without some thought of return, few of us are that altruistic. We expect at least a thank you. Such actions make us feel better knowing our act of generosity or kindness is acknowledged and appreciated. Far harder is giving knowing there will be nothing given in return, no acknowledgement of our actions, the result of our kindness unknown and possibly given to someone else. If giving in and of itself were more enjoyable, there would be many more anonymous gifts.

One of the greatest gifts I ever received was actually one that I gave someone else. Our local mall always has a Giving Tree with requests from Family Services for donations. What struck me about one request was the passion with which it was written. There were clearly three different hands on the request. First was the young man making his request, a Swiss Army pocket knife. Then his mother, who thought his request foolish because he needed clothing, and lastly, someone else who equally conveyed the young man's passion for his request. I was in a position to be generous so he got everything on the request. Scrawling the word BELIEVE on the box, I tucked it into the clothing and then wrapping my presents, delivered them for pickup. I promptly forgot about them, figuring I had done my good deed and now needed to focus on Christmas for my own family. Fate however, was not done with me.

Christmas came and went and soon I returned to the regular grind of school and work. One bitter cold January morning found me huddled on the city bus on my way to work. Sitting pressed against the window, lost in my private world I became aware of the animated conversation the two woman in front of me were having. My ears pricked up when I heard the word knife'. Lo and behold, the mother of the boy who had requested the Swiss Army pocket knife was sitting right in front of me. Interspersed between tales of how their holidays unfolded came the story of the knife. The boy's grandfather had held out, right to Christmas morning that he would receive it, if only he believed, if only he had faith. Her son, sulky and angry at the unfairness of life chastised the old man for his naivet. That opinion shattered, the woman told her companion, when the boy whipped the clothing up, hoping to prove to his grandfather once and for all that life is unfair, that faith was a waste of time. The box with the knife in it thudded to the floor, the word, "believe" visible to all.

By the time the story ended I had missed my stop and would now have to walk several long city block in sub zero weather. I didn't mind. It didn't bother me that I hadn't seen this young man's expression when he received the knife, or feel the love his grandfather felt when the boy thanked him for a gift he didn't buy. I wasn't angry that someone else received credit for what I had done, and I shed no tears because I couldn't say anything to his mother. Fate presented me a greater gift. I had been allowed to receive one of the greatest gifts any of us can ever receive: that our actions, unknown and unacknowledged, changed for the better, someone's life.

Learn more about this author, TL Carter.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Is giving really better than receiving??
We want to hear your view. Write now!