3 of 14

Write now Article Tools

We were married in May. We found out a month later that we'd gotten pregnant almost immediately after marriage. This would be his sixth, my/our third. Wasn't planned at all. In fact, had been prevented from happening with surgery two years prior. Surgery didn't take, as we found out. At 25 and 38, we were quite content having our youngest out of diapers and in school, not really wanting to start over with teething, potty training, and midnight feedings. At the same time, as reality sunk in, we couldn't wait for the first words, first steps, and first smiles again. Tiny hugs, thrilling 'I Luv Yous', and what is better than holding a sleeping baby? We hadn't had an ultrasound, but I knew it was a boy. We were very excited, as with five kids already, only one was a boy. But since the day we found out I was pregnant, I had a sick, gut-feeling, that something was terribly wrong, and that there was nothing we could do. I never told my husband, because it was just a feeling. The doctor found nothing wrong.

As I went in for my five-month checkup, I went alone. Just a checkup, afterall. While checking out the heartbeat, and all the usual stuff, he found a problem. He sent me over to the hospital to do an ultrasound, where they confirmed my worst fear. The sick, gut-feeling I'd had for four months, was right. My doctor came in after about an hour of measing this, and measuring that. He came right out and told me. "You're baby is dead." The words, I already knew, cut through me like a knife. Reality hit, and I questioned what the next step would be. It was Wednesday, and he wanted me back at the hospital on Friday morning to deliver. So I went outside and called my husband. He asked if the baby was okay. I told him there wasn't a baby anymore. I called in to work and left a message that I wouldn't be in the rest of the week.

On Thursday we went to the baby store to find a blanket for him. It was hard. We looked through all that they had, and picked out a soft white one, with BABY spelled out in pastel colors. The day was finally over.

Friday morning we went to the hospital and checked in. They took us down to my room at the end of the hall. It was more private that way. We walked in and saw that somebody had made a terrible mistake, and had brought in the hospital's silver crib for newborns. I had been holding up fairly well that day until I saw that. They induced me at noon, and things were very uneventful. They gave me the pills to induce two more times that day before

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Parents of a stillborn child?
We want to hear your view. Write now!