by David R. Chase

Created on: December 11, 2007   Last Updated: February 26, 2010

Before my daughter realized that Santa and I mysteriously have the same handwriting, we collaborated to write him a letter every Christmas Eve. It would be left next to his cookies and milk with a blank piece of paper and a pen so that he could scrawl his response while enjoying the junk food we set out for him. Each year the letter was different, but the focus was the same: it wasn't a letter to praise her own behavior over the past year, but to express gratitude and embody the true spirit of Christmas.

It was a serious affair; we would munch on cookies at the dining room table and chat about what the letter should include. When she was ready, we began it with the traditional "Dear Santa." I encouraged her to draw pictures with each paragraph to represent what it was about (which makes for great scrapbooking material now).

Without focusing on why she deserved presents for how well she'd behaved that year, we would briefly mention who she was and what she cared about in the first paragraph; it's so interesting to see how she's changed over those few short years. At first, she was a dolly-obsessed little one who couldn't get enough Dora the Explorer, and gradually she became a self-assured, mature kid because of tragic losses that she'd suffered at a too-early age. There was always a picture of her doing what she enjoyed most below the paragraph - which changed from a head with legs and arms coming straight out of it to a detailed and colored self-rendition.

The second paragraph always included the things she had been thankful for throughout the year; some years the paragraphs were shorter than others, but we always tried. It could range from little happy moments to big, life-changing events - either way, it was important that she put them on paper to gain perspective.

The third and final paragraph always included what she wished for loved ones in the coming year. Her ideas, I thought, were sometimes off the wall; one year she wished that mom would get better hair (from the mouths of babes) while asking for world peace in the same sentence. It's so wonderful to get a handle on what's important to your kids - when you allow them the freedom to express what's on their mind, you'll often be surprised at the results.

We'd leave the letter out with the cookies, and each year Santa made sure to write her back. He always thanked her for her candor and told her she was doing a good job at showing Christmas spirit. These letters are all stashed away safely in a scrapbook now, and we enjoy looking at them during the holidays - they bring up all kinds of memories that pictures just can't capture, and help keep us close all year round.

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