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Before I was a Pagan I was a Christian. I was raised in a born again Pentecostal church. I had faith and though not everything set right with me about some of the beliefs (such as the evangelical push of one person's beliefs over another or the church's imposition upon a family) I accepted them. However, something happened, I started to grow up, I wanted to be a normal 17 year old. I wanted to date, go to college and explore the world. As a teenager I was told many things. Dating was bad, popular music promoted Satanism and anyone who did not believe exactly the way they did, even if they were of another Christian denomination, were going to hell. There were many other things that I was told and scolded for that were unnecessary. I was put on a pedestal and continuously critiqued because I was chosen to be a role model for other teens. This meant that the youth leaders got to create a wedge between me and my parents in their attempt to mold a perfect Christian. My mother went along with everything because she thought the church knew better and was told that as a single woman the church should stand in as a father/husband. My father lived in another state and because he did not believe like they did, he didn't matter and I was not encouraged in my relationship with him. I soon developed an eating disorder and became suicidal. When I asked for help none came, I was labeled a backslider and shunned instead.

Knowing something had to change I left the state. I am a spiritual person and I recognized that I needed to have a spiritual outlet but no longer did I feel the love for the faith as I once did. I honestly tried to go to church again but I was dead inside. So I made a decision to look at other religions to see what I could do. I studied the texts and watched the people that said they followed the religion. From Judaism to Buddhism, each one was studied and watched. My husband says that he has never seen me be as careful and meticulous in my choice as I was with this. When I finally came to the Wiccan belief system something clicked. I read a lot of books and I watched a lot of people. Out of so many different people they were the ones who truly lived according to how they believed (for the most part, I understand there is always exceptions to the rule). Once I started practicing my spirit felt alive again. My first few years were hard but everything clicked into place and I have never looked back. I have strived to live up to my beliefs but have felt happy and have felt a true freedom that no one can take away. This is why I am Pagan. This is why I choose to associate myself with the most tolerant and loving people that I have ever met.

Learn more about this author, Diana Tierney.
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