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Who is responsible for out of control kids? We all are.

As parents, we are responsible, because we gave birth to the kids. We are their first and primary example and influence in life, long before "Dora the Explorer" and Naughty Kid from next door are.

Our schools are responsible, because schools have become businesses rather than institutions of learning. Across the USA at least, schools are now so focused on earning next year's grants and budget increases, that they don't have time to value things like good citizenship and fair play, let alone actual education. Instead, they teach only what is necessary to earn a high score on standardized tests.

Our society in general is also responsible. In "the good ol' days", disagreements were kept private between the parties involved. In today's world, however, not only are disagreements aired publicly, they are aired everywhere: on television, on the radio, in print, all over the Internet. Kids are exposed to difficult issues, and the stupid ways we deal with those issues, far sooner than they used to be. They aren't learning any good ways for dealing with conflict from these more available messages, either.

The media is responsible because it lauds so many of the qualities we used to abhor. Sex sells, violence is video-game awesome with no real consequences, financial responsibility is a waste of time as long as you can stay ahead of the creditors, and what I want matters more than what anybody else wants. These are not great messages for youngsters who lack the life experiences necessary to teach them to moderate their choices.

In the final analysis, though, parents carry the lion's share of the burden. In early childhood, the parents have a responsibility to set the best possible examples, and to teach that every action, good or bad, carries consequences. They have a responsibility, and the authority, to limit or otherwise mitigate exposure to all of the other influences in their children's lives.

Ultimately, though, once a teen has strayed from the path of good common sense, the teen is the one who should be held fully accountable for his or her actions. If we come in behind them and erase all the consequences, they learn nothing. On the other hand, if they have to do the jail time or decide what to do about a teen pregnancy, they may be less likely to repeat the same mistakes.

That doesn't mean we throw them to the wolves, however. We can guide them through coping with the consequences of their behavior, and we should do that. However, we should not protect them from those consequences.

Learn more about this author, William Wilkins.
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