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Memoirs: Emotional pain

I never thought I would ever experience the emotional pain that I experienced six years ago. I was married twenty five years and had two children. My whole family was very close to my husband. He was a kind, warm hearted, giving and caring person, until he ingested liquor. As a result, he became an alcoholic and became abusive. I was the one who experienced that side of him. My statement was,"When my children are grown and gone, I am leaving him." There was one problem and that was that I still loved him, I just wasn't in love with him anymore.

I never spoke to anyone in the family about the problems we were having. It was to a point that we could act really good in the eyes of the public. There were only two friends I confided in, but never my family. In my immediate family, there were no divorcees. My mother and father had been married for fifty six years when my father died. They had their ups and downs, but always managed to work things out.

One night my husband came home drunk, and I had enough of it. We argued and guess what came next? The striking in my head and back with his fist along with his arm around my neck trying to strangle me. Enough was enough, and that night I walked away from a marriage of twenty five years. The liquor won. After that night I never went back except to get my belongings after our property settlement.

Then came another emotional hurdle to jump over and it was my family. By the time they found out I had left, he had gone to them with tales of me having an affair. Well, one thing lead to another and before you knew it, in the eyes of almost everyone who knew me, I was the most no good person in our town. Sitting down and writing a letter to my sister trying to get her to understand was very difficult. In the letter she was told everything. I was in hopes that she would relay some of this information to my brother and some of the family. She did relay the messages, however; they decided to judge me instead of being support to me. They really thought I had the affair, because in their minds, my husband could do no wrong.

What was my next step going to be except seclude myself from my so called family and friends. My two girls knew the truth, so he admitted to them he was an alcoholic, he did beat me, and he did threaten to kill me in front of them. Along with that news he also convinced them that I was having an affair. I felt so lonely and helpless. I even thought about suicide, but I guess God showed me the

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