Asking For Help

I wasn't the type to do that, as a rule. When my marriage broke apart, I was essentially a single parent. Sure, their dad would take them on some weekends and paid a pittance in child support until I sought the services of Family Court, but I was the one who fed, clothed, bathed, and read to them at night. I could only work part time hours because of the cost of a babysitter how was I going to manage bills and kids?

I must say, it wasn't easy at all. The child support I managed to get went towards whatever it could cover for rent and utilities. I was able to make enough in tips to cover the rest of those bills, food, and a babysitter for when the kids weren't with their dad. I did make a personal rule that all change I received would be put in an old coffee can and used to have fun with the kids. It would be once or twice a month, but those were the best times for us together!

My husband, we were not divorced yet, was supposed to keep up the auto insurance on the car I was driving through the final divorce decree. He, however, decided to cancel it when the policy came due in December (we were not officially divorced until March the next year). My lawyer did nothing about this, so I was screwed on how to get to work. Fortunately for me, I had some great friends: two of them would alternate days on taking me to and picking me up from work! They also took me and the kids to doctor appointments, to the grocery store where ever we needed to be, they were there for us. (Later, a man I dated who lost his license let me use his vehicle).

Being an independent person, I didn't ask them for help. Instead, they told me I was taking it from them or else. One of them talked to me very straight forwardly about how everyone has a time in their life where they must remember what real friendship means: giving help and knowing when to ask for it. I learned a lot about how he viewed our friendship that day and I've never forgotten when to ask. When I needed a place to stay during the custody arguments, all I had to do was ask and I didn't have to worry about a motel bill.

When I started dating my current husband, I was using someone else's vehicle and I felt bad about it because we had ended our relationship. Friendly, but it was still over. I had no way to get a car, but I was determined to find my own way. I gave myself two weeks to come up with an alternative. My boyfriend had made plans to come up that second weekend

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Learning from friends?
We want to hear your view. Write now!