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There are times in a family when the nature of a situation makes it impossible to reach any kind of agreement. I think that we've all lived so far apart for so long, that now that we are all living in the same place, it's a real strain.

Our mother passed away less than three months ago, and there are still issues going on, with no answers, and we don't dare talk about it. It's like walking on eggs all the time. The holidays are here, and nothing is working. This is a time when every family should come together in love and togetherness. We just can't seem to get together without an issue.

I have lived here for over twenty years, and I don't want to have to move to find peace in my life. Life has definitely changed, and for every step I go forward, it seems like I go back three. I had hopes that all was well with my sister and I, because I love her more than life, and she's had a hard year. One that she didn't deserve. But I find out today that she still has an issue with me over where the memorial fund went. I donated it to the American Heart Assn. and this really bothers her, and I'm not sure why. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.

I don't know how to deal with it, or any of the rest of the family. I guess you could call me
the black sheep. What do you do when no one will ever be in agreement? I know that people go a little crazy when you loose a loved one, but when does life go on? We are all so different, personality wise. It just seems like any sort of communication is impossible. We have more than one conflict because of ages, ideas, and personalities.

I just hope that it works out, walking on eggs, and avoiding one another is no way to live. It's not living, it's running with no place to go. I can't run anymore, nor do I want to. I shouldn't have to move. This is my home, and I planned to spend the rest of my life here. But I can't deal with the stress all the time.

As I leapfrog this article, it has been almost a year since everyone moved here to help with our mother. Now that she is gone, they have left one by one, just as they came. Time has helped to heal all wounds. There are still little things that are a tender spot, and may always be. We just choose to not dwell on it.

Sometimes family members can love each other whole heartedly, but they can't live around each other. I know to, that people grieve in different ways. I just don't know why my family members all have such short fuses. Including myself. And I'm a Christian. I don't need to act that way. I'm sure not setting a very good example.

Things are so much better now. I don't know if any of us will ever see each other again in our lifetimes. We will stay in touch, either by phone, or online. I love my family. They mean a great deal to me. But if it means living so far apart to be able to get along with each other, so be it.

Learn more about this author, Candy Jules.
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