Search Helium

Home > Creative Writing > Humor

Humor: Things you should never do in an elevator

by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: December 07, 2007

Teaching ettiquette has been sorely lacking from our schools,
but also our everyday life. It is still considered good
manners to hold a door, give up a seat or offer assistance
even in today's hustle and bustle world.
Mr. Otis gave us a conveyance of convenience and it is
up to us to respect others in its use. So I now offer...

The Top 10 Things You Should Never Do in an Elevator:

10. Pretend to forget where you are and give confession to
anyone wearing black. Give all the juicy details.
9. Demonstrate your old school break dancing moves, especially
the floor spinning.
8. Count the floors along with the elevator in the context
with "This old man, he played..."
7. Perform the "Man in the Box" mime routine. Don't forget your tip hat.
6. Repeat "Whew! We made that one!" between each floor.
5. Press all the floor buttons at once and each time the elevator stops
and the door opens ask in a loud voice "Housewares?"
4. Tell each and every other individual passenger, "Don't worry! I know CPR!"
3. Use the emergency phone to call for Dominoes.
2. Thank the other passengers for such an enjoyable ride together
and offer them a mint.
1. Pass gas, hold a handkerchief over your nose, talk into your
watch and say, "Quick Robin! The Penguin is loose again!"

Learn more about this author, Mj Ferruzza.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

175649

Featured Partner

National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA)

The National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA) has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse NCPA's featured titles, pick an issue and write! You can also learn new perspectives on issues that yo...more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#